I stumbled upon a great blog post today from The Suburban Jungle about different types of Moms, and these are all Moms you do not want to sit next to at a dinner party. I was grateful for the smile because I had allowed myself to feel pretty lousy over the past few days. Why? Because I had been listening to and internalizing an incredible amount of unsolicited parenting advice, comments and feedback that literally made me want to say, fine, if I am that bad – you raise my baby!
So in the spirit of Jenny from the Suburban Jungle, here are my favorite ways to give advice….
1) The ‘in the know’ casual put down. This is when you are wheeling your baby in the stroller – proud that he has a clean outfit on, his hair isn’t sticking straight up, and someone peers down and says, “Oh, are you letting him suck on his fingers? I never let MY kid do that….I was so worried about thumb sucking, and you know what thumb sucking does to them….” This is when my inner monologue definitely has some thoughts about where her thumb is right now…
2) The Out of Touch historical reference. This is when my mom and her friends remind me what Dr. Spock wrote about, ask me again to explain what swaddling is and usually end the conversation with “you guys turned out all right.”
3) The Silent Cringe. No words need to even be said because the pursed lips, dismayed eyes, and flared hands in response to my friend and I saying that we watch TV while we breastfeed is judgement enough.
4) Smug comraderie response. When someone listens to my story about how I needed to beg for diapers from a fellow mom mall walker since I forgot to refill my diaper bag, and the mom responds sweetly, “didn’t you just get your extra spare diapers from the car?”
5) “Just wait until your second.” This punchline means one of two things – either all hell will break loose when I have my second, or I won’t care at all when I have your second. Either way – not adding a lot to the conversation.
and of course…
5) The Reprimand. This is the direct challenge to basically anything I have said. After my son started to wail after a blissful 30 minutes of quiet during a morning walk, I looked at him and said, “you were such a good boy, what happened?- and the mom next to me goes, “babies are not good or bad…they are just babies.” While this is technically correct, definitely not what I needed at that exact moment or really, ever.
I have a great friend at work who would always tell her team’s Feedback’s a gift, so here are some presents. I am 4.5 months into this mom thing and I am tired of Christmas every day.
From Dink to Bink 
Hey Lauren!
Great post! Judgy people are the worst and for some reason they are most common amongst parents-or at least it seems that way. I can totally relate on most of these. People only judge you because they are insecure about their own parenting styles and need to feel better by bringing other people down. Its stupid and useless. I know you are a wonderful mom because I always knew you as such a great person. P.s. I got through soooo much tv while pumping for my first and nursing my second!